Sharam Jey: Germany's Top Iranian DJ

As the Caspian Sea's fate lies in the hands of those who can't possibly be true Iranians, the diaspora forges ahead stronger than ever. Sharam Jey, Germany's top Iranian export and DJ, is a talented yet humble and well-spoken Iranian gentleman whose music is probably playing in every city's most coveted dance clubs. His hit song '4 Da Loverz', featured on a Ministry of Sound compilation, received world-wide attention and praise since its release. Deservedly so, as the track is addictive and repeat-button-worthy. Spinning at the world's finest of venues while running his own record label, this entrepreneur/producer/DJ is a busy bee. We were fortunate enough to catch Sharam during a quick respite from touring for the interview below. Enjoy.

CLICK HERE to listen to Sharam Jey's top hit song '4 Da Loverz' or visit his Myspace Page - or CLICK HERE to buy his CD.

SK: Where were you born?

SJ: I was born in Tehran, Iran. We moved to Germany when I was 10.

How did you get into DJing?

When I was 14 I started as a singer in a school rock band and got a bit into deejaying at birthday parties and stuff like that - cause nobody else really wanted to do that. And it was mainly the 80's stuff, a mixture of rock, hip-hop and later house music. I really had fun so I wanted to do it more professionally.

Where do you currently live?

I live in Cologne, Germany.

Do you have a DJ residency anywhere?

I toured a lot the last 10 years so I got to know lots of countries and many different clubs and so I do not have an actual residency. But I play a lot in my favourite clubs here in the area: Dirty Dancing in Brussels, Belgium,The End in London, Tribehouse, near Cologne and Funky Chicken Club here in my hometown.

How did you come to choose your DJ name?

When I was in the band I decided to use my second name Nikjeh as an alias called Nick Jey. Then when I signed my first record deal my company wanted to change that name because there were lots of Nicks out there and Sharam was more remarkable for them. So it became Sharam Jey.

How would you describe the current music scene where you live?

The sounds and the scenes are changing constantly. I think you should find your style and be true to yourself. The last 3 years I had fun playing a mixture of my background sounds which I grew up with like house, electro, 80s, hip-hop and rock.

What do you predict for your music genre in the future?

After 15 years in the business I am just enjoing every minute, I do. Its about presenting the people [with] a good mixture of sounds which makes them run wild.

Who’s your musical influence?

There are so many bands and musicians which [have] influenced me. Mainly from the 80s cause that's the era I grew up in. My music is mostly influenced by rock and hip-hop etc., not so much by other djs and producers of electronic music.

How does it feel being one of the world’s “Top DJ’s”?

There are so many Djs which have been called "Top DJ". I am just happy that I got the possibility to make money with what I like and what [is] my passion. It’s a stressful job but it’s the one I always wanted to do.

When did you start your record label?

Actually in 2000 but officially in 2001.

Is it hard managing a record label and being a successful DJ at the same time?

The idea was to produce music from Djs for Djs and to make it a bit better than the companies I had worked with over all those years. So at first it was just my music that had been released. Now I have started to give new talents a chance to release their stuff. So it’s a bit stressy because you have to be there for your artists even when you’re on tour and on the other side of the world.

How was it is growing up Iranian, in Germany?

I came here when I was really young so I did not have problems acclimating myself. I quickly got to know new people in school and when I started do my music thing it was absolutly the center of my life and the guys I used to hang out with were into the same things.

What’s your favorite Persian dish?

As I don’t eat red meat I would say : jujekabab. But as cooking is my 2nd best hobby I like lots of diferrent dishes as well...but i love all persian food.

How many languages do you speak?

Unfortunately just three. German, persian and english. But I definitely will work on spanish and maybe one day japanese as I really like the country and the food.

Describe your music in 3 words.

I am not able to describe it in three words . I would say it’s a mixture of house, electro, rock, hip-hop, breaks ... or Electronic rockin music.

What’s your favorite city to spin in?

As I said there are so many great countries and cities. I like playing where people are really into my music.

What’s the largest venue you’ve played?

I would say Loveparade in Berlin. 100,000 people.

Who would you like to see in concert?

Actually I have been to a lot of concerts lately, but I am always excited about seeing people like Prince or the Beastie Boys.

What’s your astrological sign?

Taurus

Any major collaborations?

I am going to release my new single with a collaboration mix by the Glimmers ft. Princess Superstar. She will also contribute new vocals to my song 'Monday Morning'. I did a remix for the boys in return. And I have a remix out for Shiny Toy Guns.

Who would you like to collaborate with?

A lot of good singers and musicians out there but I really would like to work with Gwen Stefani or Q-Tip.

What was the first CD you ever bought?

I can’t remmeber. But I remember my fisrt vinyl albums; by Prince, Duran Duran and Wham.

Where did you spin last?

I just finsihed my world tour which began in April in Australia and got me to the US, Asia, Brazil etc. So now I am really focusing on my new album. I am just playing a few gigs at the moment. I played at Dirty Dancing in Brussels last week. They were celebrating their 4th anniversary. Great party!

What’s next?

As I said there will be a new single out called 'Message To Love', it’s a track from my first artist album '4 Da Loverz' with brand new remixes from The Glimmers, DJ Kaos, Alex Metric and the LouLou Plöayers. Then there will be some classics remixed by some friends of mine. And the highlight will definitely be my new artist album which will be out next year. I havent been to my studio for a year now except for some remixes I did. So I am really excited about working and producing again.

I had a dream, Sharam Jey & Deep Dish were headlining in Kish Island. A massive crowd of young Iranian attendees surrounding me as we jam to 4 Da Loverz and watch the sun rise. Do you think it’ll ever come to fruition or remain merely a dream?

I don’t know... unfortunately, don’t really think that this will happen in the near future. Hopefully someday the people in Iran will be able to enjoy music and parties the way we do [freely].

Maz Jobrani: Iranian-born comedian/actor

Turning Fear into Funny (the correct version)


By: Sanaz Khalaj
June 5, 2003
The Iranian

As an Iranian, here's yet another reason to be proud, the name Maz Jobrani. A comedic genius on the rising. The modest, mellow, yet intoxicatingly funny Maz (short for Mazyar) is indeed an addition to our Iranian assets. As Maz continues to turn fear into funny, laughter proves to be the best remedy for these turbulent times while label-happy politicians continue to label happily - and freedom-minded Middle Easterners abroad feel profiled for acts that they have not committed. Maz's improv-esque comedic genius is a promising antidote to all the ongoing media wars too. We were lucky enough to interview this ball of positive energy, and have decided to share the laughter with you. So, grab a tissue or two, before you sit down to indulge in this piece of eye candy. If you're looking to treat yourself to a good show and take a breather from life, check out Maz's tour schedule by visiting: http://www.mazjobrani.com/

SK: Where were you born?

MJ: Tehran, Iran.

Where did you grow up?

Marin County in the San Francisco Bay Area (tough childhood, living in the suburbs.)

What's a good childhood memory?

The smell of grass at 8 in the morning when our soccer team would travel to play another city's all-star team. That was the only time I could wake up that early. Most other days, I would wake up, go to school, and fall asleep in class.

Do you have any siblings?

Two older, wonderfully cool sisters, and two younger, great brothers, who look like me, but are both bigger than me, size wise -- I think it's something in the food.

Not to be too forward but, in true Iranian fashion I will delicately ask, what are your academic credits?

B.A. in Political Science with a minor in Italian from U.C. Berkeley. Dropped out of a Ph.D. program in Political Science from U.C.L.A.

Why didn't you become a Dr.?

Because I don't like sick people.

When is your Birthday?

February 26, 1972; I am a Pisces...don't know what that means, but I'm pretty mellow.

When & why did you decide to go into comedy, trigger? An epiphany of sorts?

When I was a kid, I was a huge fan of Eddie Murphy's. He was on Saturday Night Live at 19, and I thought I'd try to beat him there. I had done theater in school since I was 12, and I really thought I had a shot..Well, as most of your readers know, Iranian parents aren't down with that. So, when at 17, I went to my parents and told them that I would like to be an actor, they looked at me, smiled, and told me that I should be a lawyer... after all, they reasoned, lawyers get to act, just in court - plus they make goodmoney.So, as my parents saw it, I could be successful financially, while fulfilling my dreams of performing in front of people - albeit a 12 member jury. Well, that sounded good to me - after all, they were paying for the education. So, while at Berkeley, I neglected my instinct to perform for about 4 years. Then, one day I went to the ATM and tried to withdraw $20 for the weekend. I was unpleasantly surprised when I found out that I only had $17 left in my account.What had happened was that my father had given me a few hundred dollars some months before, and as a gesture of my own maturity, I had decided to write him a check and pay him back. He had taken the check, laughed at me, and told me that he would keep it as a souvenior, but never cash it - after all, he was the man and I was still the kid... well, I guess the man needed the few hundred bucks at some point, because he cashed it - and whereas I thought I had a few hundred and seventeen dollars in the bank that day, it turned out I only had seventeen.So, a bit distressed, but with credit card in hand, I went to the local pub in Berkeley and had a beer as I laughed about my situation. Just then they were having a standup comedy competition. It was one of the most pitiful things I had ever seen. There were only two people in the whole competition, and they were both pretty bad. I thought to myself that if I were just to get up and talk about my day, I would've been funnier than both of those guys. But it was too late to enter the competition. And I promised myself that the next time there was a standup comedy competition that I would participate. As I like to say, I was inpired by mediocrity.So, a few months later there was a huge stanup comedy competition. And even though I didn't have any material, I got my friend who had a camera to record me as I played 5 different characters on a dating service. I submitted the tape and was chosen as one of 16 finalists. They had me go down to the big radio station in San Francisco to promote the competition, and once I got there I realized that I would be a finalist in a "Dirty Dozen's Comedy Comepetion" which is a mostly Black/Yo Mamma type show.Anyway, once me and the other comics (who all happened to be Black) went into the sound booth to promote the show, they all started yelling yo mamma jokes at one another. Then they did shout outs to there "peeps" - saying things like "Yo, this is Big Easy sendin a shout out to Cool J, and Big Freeze on the East Side." Well, when it came to me to send a shout out I got caught up in the moment and found myself saying "Ay yo, ay yo, wassup? Wassup? This is Mazzi Jay!" And from then on my friends started calling me that to mess with me.So, to make a long story not super long, that competition fell through, because the guy promoting it didn't sell enough tickets, but I ended up doing a couple of open mic shows in LA over that summer. Then, I left standup again until about 5 years ago, when I was working in an ad agency, and waiting to get back into acting. I was in a play called "The Belind Date and The Vedding," which did really well in LA and New York. At that time I decided to get serious again with my acting and got into an improv class. Then, while in that class I met a lady who taught a standup class - I got into her class and from there I just took off. It was as if someone had opened the lid off of a shaken Coke can - it had been building up in me all those years and finally I went for it... and at the age of 26 (only 7 years behind Eddie, and not SNL yet, but on my way.)

Who has the funny bone in your family...or is it just an enhanced Iranian -given humor?

Actually my cousin in London cracks me up all the time. He's a restauranteur, but whatever he says just comes out funny to me. He's got a great sense of humor about life. My mom's cousin is the old school Iranian joke teller - and he could probably tell jokes for days - he cracks me up too.

What made you realize you were funny enough to pursue it?

I never realized I was funny enough to do anything. I just liked to laugh at stuff. Some of my best friends growing up were the funniest guys in my school. One of my closest friends, Jason Saltzman, was on the baseball team with me, and we just had a hard time taking anything too seriuosly - maybe that's why the coach would bench us.

Describe high school in a sentence.

Just one BIG ASS Nose.

When was your first appearance on stage?

In kindergarten in Iran. I had the part of a tree, but I kept talking to the tree next to me, so I ended up in the chorus.

How comfortable were you on stage?

I guess too comfortable, because I wouldn't stop talking. Then when I had to sing, I thought it was pretty cool, because we sounded pretty good (or at least I thought we did), and my relatives were out in the crowd where I could wave to them.

Any major TV appearances?

This past year I was on "24" which is a hot show on Fox. I played a terrorist, who changes his mind and says that he doesn't want to kill anybody. I thought that was pretty cool. I've stopped doing those parts because they're most often written stupidly, but this one was written with a cool twist. I also had a great scene on NYPD Blue where I played a Pakistani doctor in New York who helped some mobsters and got interrogated by Dennis Franz. I got to say "asshole" on that show, which I think results in a fine for ABC from the Federal Communication Cmmission.I've done a bunch of other things too, not all Middle Eastern - I played a regular guy robbing Jane Kazmyric in "Malcolm in the Middle". I played a scared dental patient in "Still Standing", a security gaurd in "Chicago Hope" a janitor in "ER" a Muslim clergyman in "Without a Trace" a spy in "The Agency". If any of your readers are curious, they can check out my reel on mazjobrani.com.

Major film appearance?

My biggest to date would have to be the part of "Moly" in Ice Cube's "Friday After Next". That was a lot of fun, and it's gotten me the most recognition. I also just finished work on a Jennifer Garner movie that will be out next year called "13 Going on 30" - again, a relatively small part, but just a plain American guy. I was also Reza in the movie "Maryam", which was my first movie, and one of the most fun shoots because I got to work with some great people including Ramin Serry, Shaun Toub, Shohreh Aghdashloo, David Ackert, and Mariam Parris. Again, your readers can check out my credits on my website - I've done a handful of other films.

How hard is it getting roles as an Iranian... or one of Middle Eastern background?

You know, this past year there were a lot of roles for Middle Easterners. I think we were just in the public eye because of everything that's happening. And on a pleasant note, I found myself going out for roles that had some integrity. For example, in "Without A Trace" I played a Muslim clergyman, who basically tells the FBI that their racial profiling goes against everything America stands for. And my character was not a fanatic, just someone who had principles. I was very happy with that role.That said, there still are roles out there that are just stupid. And there are some casting directors who only bring you in for Middle Eastern roles, which is frustrating as well. I tell them, 'look, I don't have an accent, I've grown up in this country, I am a citizen, why can't I go out for the regular guy in this bar scene?' and sometimes they just won't budge. But I guess that's one of my goals in this business - to try and break down those barriers, which I do see happening these days.

Turning fear into funny?

You know, I've always been a peaceful person. When we were kids and my friends would fight I used to jump in the middle and split it up. Then when I got older I realized that those kid punches had turned into adult punches and they could hurt more, so I don't necessarily get in the middle as much anymore. However, I do feel that violence is just stupid. If you step back and look at what we all want, it's some food, some love/sex, and a bit of rest.We all have that in common - whether we're lords in Switzerland or tribesmen in Africa. So what happens? Somewhere along the line we start accusing one another of wanting more. And somewhere along the line some people get greedy. And somehow we forget to step back and realize just because someone doesn't believe in my beliefs I shouldn't hate that person. Hell, we could hang out together, play some basketball, get a drink and then go worship whatever we worship in our own way. Basically, live and let live. That's what I believe. And I love to laugh, so if you laugh with me, great, if not, then I feel sorry for you.
Next projects?
Well, I am trying to get the word out about my standup. I've recorded a CD called "Maz Jobrani is American" with a picture of me with flags coming out of my ears and a hot dog and apple pie going into my mouth. I will be taking the cds on tour with me, and selling them after the shows. I'm also trying to put together a larger tour so that I can expand on my standup.It's funny because a lot of club owners out there don't know that there is a Middle Eastern community that is starved for this kind of humor. And beyond that they don't know that regular Americans have fun at our shows. So I'm trying to break that boundary by coming out there and doing these shows. Aside from that I am trying to write some screenplays and produce them out here in LA.How long will you be touring?Again, this is a mini-tour. We are coming out to DC to prove to the club owners that we have a draw. From there we go to New York for one night. We had planned to go to Boston, but those plans fell through. Once we come out this time and show the clubs that we are legit I hope to put together a larger tour and hit a few more major cities.

Maz Jobrani in Deep Dish Video for 'Sacramento'

Supermodel-Terrorist

Interview with Kayvon Zand

By: Sanaz Khalaj

August 8, 2007

iranian.com




The US’s recent mega-sale of arms to Saudi Arabia seems to have made the whispers of bombing Iran grow louder, but so have Iranian-Americans in their pursuance of the “American Dream”. Realizing the trance of opportunity and freedom that brought them to the US in the first place, Iranian-Americans are arriving on a multitude of industries with great amplitude. Kayvon Zand, a surging model, musician, and promising supplementary to the eruption of current young Iranian-American artists making a name in their niche, is a witty superstar in the making. With his bewitching lucent-azure eyes and original style, Kayvon should be on everyone’s watch list. We had the exclusive pleasure to interview the inevitable heavy-weight in New York’s finest fashion circles and self-declared “Supermodel Terrorist” recently for your enjoyment. [Click here to listen to a sample of his new track ‘Push It’]


SK: Where were you born?



KZ: Good ole Wilmington, NC



Music, acting, or modeling - which is your biggest passion?



Well music was my first language. I knew how to play before I could speak, so there is definitely a connection with my soul and harmony. Although, I am a renaissance man, I love art in all forms.



Have you worked with any Iranian designers, like Hushi from "Michael & Hushi" or Pegah Anvarian, as a model?



I started modeling in Europe and that is where I reached the climax in my modeling career to date. I did not have the opportunity at the time to work with them, although, I have worked with Nima Behnoud here in NYC.



Were you musical from an early age?


Again, first language ;)



Who is your favorite designer and why?


To be honest I do not follow brands or names. People on the street inspire me. So I would say NYC scene kids are amongst my favorite designers because they make everything from head to toe they are wearing. Not for everyone, but true self expression.



Who is your favorite musician and why?



I actually am I big fan of Javad Maroofi. I grew up mimicking his compositions. Rachmaninoff is another legend right next to Dave Gohan of Depeche mode. I love music that speaks from melody, not necessarily words.



Who is your favorite actor?


Johnny Depp is just cool. His darkness and choice of roles appeal to me.



Who do you consider an inspiration or role model?



Hmm, this is kind of tricky. Everyday someone inspires me. I can't imagine having one person as inspiration, that would make me a copy cat, lol. Everyone is an inspiration whether it be dark or light. The past has inspired me to move forward if anything.



What do you think of the new-generation of Iranian-American musicians; i.e. Deep Dish, Abjeez, Kiosk, Sharam Jey, et. al?



It's great to see Persians playing in the big leagues, as they should. Persians are amongst some of the most talented and beautiful people in the world. So I feel very proud to see fellow "Iranians" doing their thing.



Were your Iranian parents supportive of your decision to go into the arts and not law or medicine?



Well, my family has always known I would pursue a bigger life then what was given to me. So I feel they support me, yet fear I will not get what I want by taking a chance. But, my passion controls me, so that does not give me the choice to conform.



How did you land a role in the movie "The Devil Wears Prada"?


Patricia Fields is a friend ;)



Do you plan on continuing to act?



I will definitely take the opportunity if it's there. But, I'm not going to kill myself for a role.



Who would be the ideal character for you to portray in a movie, in your opinion?



Elvis Presley. We share the same birthday!



Do you find it hard or perhaps easy to get jobs or positive press as an Iranian artist during such sensitive times?



I'm an artist before I'm Iranian, American, or anything. So it doesn't really matter. If anything I can get away with more, as I am not white or black, lol.



What do you forecast for the future of Iranian-American artists like yourself?



Hell, lol, jk. Actually, I predict that Persians will always be in the arts no matter what relations with the US will be.



What's your favorite Iranian dish?



Kashkeh Bademjoon.



What's your sign?


Capricorn Baby!



Where can we see or hear your work?



Well I will be releasing a video after I return from Iran in the next couple months! So it will be out hopefully this fall. You can check out my myspace page, myspace.com/KayvonZand or my music page, myspace.com/DSSKV



What's next on your plate?



World Domination and a number three from McDonald's SUPER SIZED! lol. Actually, Music, music, and more music!

Whatever Makes Me Happy

Interview with fashion designer Sanaz Shirazi

By: Sanaz Khalaj
The Iranian
April 24, 2007







As Iranians abroad continue to immerse themselves in all realms of business wolrdwide, a few have gone in the way of fashion. Like celebrity favorite Behnaz Sarafpour (BehnazSarafpour.com) or Manny and Neda Mashouf (founders of Bebe clothing, bebe.com), Iranian-born Sanaz Shirazi (SanazShirazi.com) is a budding apparel designer with a modern take on traditional asthetics. Below is an interview with the innovative artist, enjoy.


SK: Where were you born?


SS: Tehran, Iran.


Where do you currently live?


Based in Oslo Norway, and London UK.
When was the last time you were in Iran?
Last time I was in Iran was 2 years ago. I go to Iran to visit family and to get inspiration for my work.


What pulled you towards fashion?


The idea of creating something unique, while making your own trademark in the world.


Were your parents supportive of your decision to go into Fashion?


I obtained a Bachelor’s degree in International Marketing and Business before I started as a designer, so it helped ;) I use my degree in my work all the time. My parents have always encouraged me to follow my heart and do whatever that makes me happy. They have taught me to become independent, and trust myself. They have given me the confidence to believe in myself and never give up on my ideas and dreams. It’s important to not limit yourself both on a personal and professional level, because that would stop you from progressing. Don’t let obstacles stop you from following your dreams.


Do you design and make everything yourself?


Yes, I design with my sister Tanaz, we do research, come up with new ideas, and then create our styles for the collection. It’s very creative but the business and marketing bit is quite time-consuming as well.


Where do you get your inspiration from?


Traveling, people, history books, old movies, Persian culture and arts, nature...


What's your favorite Persian/Iranian dish?


Ghormeh-sabzi, joojeh-kabob, most dishes, and I do miss it all when my parents are away. But I m a great cook and can make pretty much most of the dishes ;)


Do you find it difficult to further your business as our heritage is constantly debased by the media?


I never see any of that, as a matter of fact I find it to be totally opposite. People love the fact that we are honest and proud of our heritage and that we use the history and culture of Iran in our work. The combination of Iran and growing up in Europe has made us see things differently and adjust to different people and cultures more easily. I believe that the combination of our background, personalities and hard work is the key to our success.


What is your favorite color?


Brown, green, and basically nature colors, because it inspires me in my work.


Who has influenced you the most?


My Sister Tanaz, cool people I meet all over the world, especially in north Europe, and North America. In addition to actresses and movies from the past, my mother and her cool style from the 70s.


Do you speak, read and/or write Farsi?


Yes. I speak Farsi fluently. I also read and write in Farsi, as it has always been important to my parents for us to remember and appreciate our Persian background. I also went to school in Iran for 5 years and continued receiving lessons in Farsi even when I was going to school in Norway.


Where can one buy your pieces?


Shops in Europe, Scandinavia, events in US and Far East as well as online storefronts like CoutureCandy.com.


What's next on your schedule?


Traveling to Iran for meetings and visiting factories for organic sheep fur. Attending events and selling to more shops, doing charitable work, promoting Sanaz Shirazi in the US. We will keep designing and make the look complete. Traveling for more inspiration and keeping the creativity in motion, and as always living life to its fullest. ;)





To learn more about Sanaz and her designs please visit: SanazShirazi.com.

I Feel for You - Dedicated to all the Women's Rights Activists in Iran

You suffer
We surf

You scream
We can't hear

You fight
We live

You bleed
We contemplate

You are jailed for showing hair
We continue on, it's not fair

You need money, you sell your soul
We're busy being mixed in this melting bowl

You need our help
We need to put our money where our mouths are and not yelp

You suffer
We surf

You are tougher
We are just smurfs

You will rise and save her ancient beauty
We will follow you as it is our duty

You suffer
We surf

Loving You...

For: Mr. Santos
By: Mrs. Santos

Loving you is the easiest thing
Outer, inner, and all-consuming gaiety is what it brings

I'm craving you right now
I'm thinking of last night, wow

Your ability to feed my emotional rage,
A dexterity all to your own, is asunder from your age

With one look you ruined my concentration
With one touch you gained my devotion

Your spine-tingling redolence makes me lust for you
Inhaling, holding, and absorbing you is the only thing I want to do

Your smile inspires me to live
Mon' Amour, my soul to you I give

You always deliver
I will never forget this, ever

Life with out you is no life at all
This is our happily ever-after, after all

For the Snake

You slither as you roam
Coercing your next victim into your 'home'

Your sinister incivility is blatantly illusive
Your calculated contrivance is now, conclusive

Your lurid savior-faire is further bravura of you Khadijeh
Take a shower, you smell like "yeki hamin al-on root reedeh"

Your poison is potently bestowed
Therefore, your entire being is what is owed

Now I know why they're so ashamed of you
It is the way you walk, talk, eat... everything that you do

You're such a "bad-bakht"
With an empty rancid "takht"

Everything you touch turns to "goh"
It all probably started as soon as you turned "noh"

I will never forgive you for what you did to her
If I had my way, your life I would deter

There's still time
Even after this silly rhyme

Conniving as you are
The universe will not let you get too far

You slither as you roam
Oh how I would love to cut your "doam"

You slither as you roam
You're a snake without a real home

Elisabeth hASSelbutt

You're so dumb
Your rhetoric makes me numb

It's not "eye-rack" and "eye-ran"
See why I'm not a big fan?

You need to think before you speak
Maybe you should read, of idiocy you reek

Survivor is where you belong
Not misinforming people you Bushie-tag-along

Almost 700,000 are now dead
You don't care cause you still get to feed your daughter bread

Have you ever been to Iran?
No? You know who has? Halli-bur-ton

Have you ever considered reading history?
Or did you skip out since it wasn't obligatory?

What makes you think you have the authority to preach about politics?
The most you can be quoted on is the number of your lollipop licks

Facts are what make discussions real
With your blatant ignorance, I can't deal

Freedom of Speech is relevant here
But so is living in peace dear

Stop embarrassing yourself by regurgitating FoxNews
With this intense lack of thought, the popularity vote is what you'll lose

I can't emphasise enough what a detriment you are to society with your "views"
I hope this child of yours is a healthy one so I can read about his enlistment to "secure" this country, in the news

How dare you wish death upon Iraqi civilians?
They're made up of humans too, in millions

Karma will bring you EH to your knees
Because life in Iraq is no longer a breeze

I'm glad she chose to disassociate herself, that Rosie
She'll find a better platform to enlighten that's not so cozy